Good for you, you now have a baby in your life. But the fact is I don’t give a fuck about your new human shit factory. I don’t care what their poop looks like, breastfeeding routine is, (fake) first word, or how close they got to taking their first step today. I don’t want 100 pictures and videos of them covering my wall. I don’t think you would be horrible a person if you didn’t have every post mention your kids. I knew you before you fucked your kid into the world and knew you were a decent person, so don’t think I feel any less of you if do not give me a kid update on a daily basis. And when we do hang out, don’t be surprised when I match ever kid story of yours with a story about my pets (this includes the cat who sits behind the couch all day too). I’m tired of looking like I am friends with a bunch of kids.