This Week in the Mercury
Wednesday, July 25, 2012
Parking Lot Dents Are Hit And Runs Too, You Know?
Posted by Anonymous on Wed, Jul 25, 2012 at 10:32 PM
After a camping weekend at Timothy Lake nearby Mt. Hood, my girlfriend (her car) and I decided to walk the lakeside trail -nothing too strenuous. I/We were appalled by the amount of pure garbage found around the lake. And I'm not just talking about unemployed hippies! I'm speaking of people who can't preserve nature and pick up after themselves. Anyway, after that depressing reality check we were saved by an awesome spotting of a yellow lab riding on the back of a motorcycle in Sandy, OR (the drive home). The next day, we found a softball size parking lot bummer-of-a-dent on the rear quarter panel. That's property damage, you 4x4 fuck-face! Yeah, you in the giant yellow Toyota FJ Cruiser that conspicuously parked backwards a few feet away. We know it was you! Or some other douche-y douche-bag. The roads into the Timothy Lake campgrounds allow silver Honda Civic cars to drive safely. Congratulations on the purchase of your ultimate extreme driving machine for maneuvering pea-gravel roads. It's like hiring Eddie Van Halen for a ringer-solo at your kid's elementary recital. The moral of this story is that: A. Pops-A-Dent (as seen on T.V.) really fucking works some magic on dents in your car's sheet metal. I'm not even kidding about that! Not even a fucking little bit -you prick that doesn't leave a note after bashing a big fucking dent in someone's car! And B. People are bitch!
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