Hey HIPPIES! Thanks for ruining my incredible swimming hole. I’ve been going to this secluded beach to escape the heat for years, but you managed to ruin it in one single day. Even though there have always been other people there from all walks of life, everyone always managed to keep to themselves, be quiet, and enjoy this hidden gem. But YOU couldn’t do this. YOU feel compelled to constantly try to draw attention to yourselves. So you bring a large smelly group of dreadlocked dumbshits. And you play flutes. And you play harmonicas. And you walk on (but mostly fall off of) tightropes. And you put your pet snake in the water for everyone to be terrified of. And you’re incredibly LOUD and obnoxious and smell like you bathe in your own feces. Then to top it all off, you leave behind a massive pile of garbage to rot on the beach. Stop being so selfish, disgusting and self-absorbed. Life isn’t a circus. You’re just a bunch of losers without any ambition or any purpose in life beyond annoying other people. Take your pet snake home, wash the shit-smell off of your body, and be respectful to other people. And stay away from my fucking swimming hole.
Smelly Self-Absorbed Hippies
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