Show promoters of Portland! I know you super love to suck White Fang's dick and all, but if you put down your beer goggles, you'll realize they suck. They're not fun to watch. If you're not another musician and they don't know you, you're just watching grown men pretend to be children and have the lyrical depth of a blink 182 song. Yet, MFNW? Check. PDX Pop Now!? Check. FUCKING BEACH FOSSILS? Check. I don't care if you book a fucking high school band, but please make me stop skipping shows because you're into White Fang's beer bellies.
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