Whoever lived in my house before me fed this big ass raccoon probably regularly. I say this as there is a homemade "nest" in my backyard tree and other evidence that he was welcomed here.
I continued the tradition and have grown fond of "buddy".
You two moved in next door at the beginning of summer and worked on renovating your new house for months. I had no idea that you had chickens recently, honestly. I would have warned you of buddy.
The other night I was up late and I heard something sounding like a cat fight. It wasn't. It was worse. I went outside and heard a smaller sounding thing screaming and then I saw buddy.
Running along the fence top with bloody bird in mouth.
It was then I realized, fuck telling you about buddy, you weren't going to check in with me and see if I'm down with you guys having chickens. Should you read this, you might want to house that goat overnight.