Yes I AM Registered to Vote


I can't come up with anything to say about this, I'm too distracted by the ad for "Marty's Rainbow Wig" and Mirk's tweet about her wet jeans.
Yeah, keep those fucking earbuds in. I hope everybody ignores those fucking canvassers. More votes for REAL fucking Americans like me, who ALWAYS vote for the right fucking candidate. The one who tells the fucking TRUTH. And won't steal my money to pay for fuckers who are too lazy to pull themselves up by their fucking bootstraps! You fucking whiners.
Seriously? The voting registration canvassers are the least annoying of all canvassers. This is how it should go:
Them: "Are you registered to vote?"
You: "Yup."
Them: "Is your address accurate?"
You: "Yup."

Done. In all of two seconds.
And to canvassers in general: if you're yelling, you've already lost the sale.
I think this was directed at canvassers in general, not just the voter registration folks. I work a block away from Whole Foods in the Pearl and am accosted on a daily basis by upwards of 4-8 different people with clipboards. Mind you, this takes place in the span of one city block, where there is literally one canvasser per street corner at the same goddamn intersection(s). They cast this unavoidable net and proceed to act like assholes in their lame attempts to engage passersby. If wearing headphones and walking purposefully actually deterred these people, their presence wouldn't bother me. However, many of them forego basic politeness for aggressive and obnoxious displays of assholery. Just last week as I was leaving work and walking to my bike I was immediately approached by a young man who was waving his clipboard around like an idiot. Despite my best efforts to deter him, he got all up in my face acting like we were best friends. I ignored his shenanigans, to which his coworker responded by yelling "I got your back, bro" from across the street. Then the second guy proceeded to work his magic on me with this gem: "Hey ma'am, you dropped your smile!" as walked away. I wish this were an isolated incident, but similar situations happen nearly every day. On the flip side, I appreciate the incentive to take the long route and walk out of my way to get from point A to point B. I could use the exercise.
I just look the other way. It's fucking horrible though, the way these people are nuisances. I'm under the impression that they're behaving legally, but I think there's wiggle for an ordinance where, if they pursue someone who's avoiding them they get a ticket.

Or I could just walk around downtown with a broom. Seriously, after reading the above, I'm going to be a lot more aggressive about telling these people to fuck off.
What is wrong with you people? Averting your eyes, wearing earbuds, taking a different street, are you so afraid of conflict that you can't tell a stranger "no?" My advice is: get yourself a spine, look them straight in the eyes and say, "no." Personally, I like to add a smile, but that's probably optional. Dealing with canvassers is a lot like dealing with bears. When you run and hide, you just look like easy prey; When you stand tall and confront them, you look like too much work.

With this method, I've never had to say more than "no," and I've never had to say it more than once (per canvasser).
My strategy is to put my phone to my ear and pretend I'm talking to someone (someone important... like the president!). "Yep... mhmmm... mmm.... mmhmmm. gotcha." So far they always ignore me!
It's a free country and the annoyance is much better than the alternative.
Chris, what's the alternative that's so much worse? Honestly, I can't think of a single bad thing that would happen if all of the canvassers suddenly found something else to do.
I can't stand canvassers, but the voter folks are the least intrusive by far. That said, I work downtown and sometimes I carry a clipboard. If I take it with me out of the building they don't even start, because they think I'm one of them! Works like a charm.
Shut up. Is it really that hard to say fuck off? God you people in Portland are such babies.