Just Say Fuck No


Another Obama voter
Dude, it's just masturbation. No need to feel guilty for that.

Unless you meant you feel guilty for trying cocaine. But no one was hurt, and you already decided not to do it anymore. So again, no need to feel guilty.
It could have been worse. A few people I knew in college did a lot of cocaine and then really got into Ayn Rand. As the fortune cookie says: Better to put your finger into your asshole than to become an asshole.
Sick, dude.
You say you'll never do cocaine again. You don't say you'll never stick your finger up your butt when you masturbate again.
Plant zucchinis next year, you'll never regret it.
In this narrative there's a loophole, and that is the writers friends who brought over some cocaine scenario and what did follow.

"leaving some cocaine behind".

- "I found some of the cocaine they did on the counter. Don't fucking ask me why"

-"since I've never done hard drugs, but I decided to try it. I still don't know why, maybe it was because they all seemed to having such a great time."

Doesn't justify the narrative character desire of using cocaine, either why or if there was some cocaine on the counter.

Better luck next time.
White people problems...
More like white powder problems, Grandpa.
Damn, White folks.
Yeah.... coke heads NEVER leave coke behind. It just doesn't happen. If a line is "left over" come morning, guaranteed someone is just saving it for the hangover.

Clearly a bullshit story, but still amusing.
As MFAC said, no coke fiend would ever leave enough behind to be found by some random masturbator.

"I have seen enough people do it, so I knew how to snort it... "

For fuck's sake...