This Week in the Mercury
Saturday, November 10, 2012
Slumgullion Stew
Posted by Anonymous on Sat, Nov 10, 2012 at 10:58 AM
There appears to be some kind of theme here recently and with that Grossology exhibit, I thought I'd keep it going. For my work, I have to drive all around Portland, which I love. What I don't love is, as Homer Simpson says is a "stupid lack of public urinals". He's right, to find a place to relieve one's bladder in this town is nearly impossible. So, I have had to memorize locations of porta-pottys. All of them are filthy, but at least the graffiti is sometimes entertaining. Anyway, you can't help but look into the toilet tank when taking a piss, and some of the loads I've seen in there are quite amazing. I have often wondered what the person ate in order to produced such a dump? Well, I recently found out by pure happenstance. This is what I took in on that day I'll never forget: Breakfast: 2 cups of coffee and a half of bag of beef jerky (I was in a rush and it was in my vehicle) Lunch: bacon burger w/fries, Coke, bag of spicy peanuts. Midday snack: More jerky. Dinner: chicken Tacos with all the fixin's, 24 oz can of that Budweiser and Clamato thing (don't ask me why I drank this), chips and salsa, 3 glasses of red wine and ice cream. The next morning, I produced a shit that would make any hobo envious. It was bright orange and the smell was quite overwhelming. I was both ashamed and proud of what I had done and I paused to analyze my creation before I flushed it. I was in such awe, that I texted my friend and gave him the recipe. Now I give it to you...
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