I'm pioneering some new shit today and it's called,"The Friday Rant." Let's begin. First Thursday, Last Thursday, First Friday, fucking Hump Day, Second Sunday... What. The. Fuck. Condense Portland! Condense! We'll burn less gas which I'm sure all of our hippie asses will appreciate. And instead of drinking responsibly over several days we can all get shit faced on one gluten free, organic, snobby, artistic night. Please recycle all cans and bottles. Just look for the can with a bird on it. Next, shameless attention seeking behavior by posting multiple pictures of yourself "looking cool." I'm guilty of it on occasion. But I'm not cool. And neither are you. We're all hella weird and it's rad so lets rock that shit. Third, beer snobs. Like your funky asses won't drink a PBR. Shut up. And fourth, the inability to make left turns on Burnside. Sam Adams you need to woo that shit like its name is Beau Breedlove and make it more convenient for me to make it to Voo Doo Donuts while heading West. Not that I've ever been to Voo Doo. Fuck that.
Obviously I'm From Here
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