A Request for Rush Hour Traffic Slowpokes

Comments

1
Sounds like you need to get up fifteen minutes earlier so you can toast your Pop-Tart, void your bowels, swallow your Prozac, and still have time to drive to work without WISHING DISASTER AND DEATH ON PEOPLE.
2
Todd has great suggestions. You might also try switching to decaf, reduce the steroid dose, and move out of Vantuky so you don't have so far to go.
That posted limit? It is a MAXIMUM, not a minimum. Chill out.
3
You sound like a likely road-raging tailgater, which leads to collisions, which cause even worse delays for others. The whole thing is nuts. More people (note I didn't say everyone) should be taking public transportation, which is the most efficient way to get people where they're going during rush hour, or at least it could be if more people used it.
The opinion that if everyone would just go a little faster in rush-hour traffic, then everyone would get where they're going faster is erroneous and dangerous.
4
Don't look at this! IT WILL MAKE YOU STUPID.
5
@RB, damn, too late!
6
I can sort of understand the race to clock in on time, but whats with the fucked up hurry-ass-home routine?

From what I notice, pretty much everyone in this town is dating a fatty, why the hurry to get back home to them???
7
I,A is a forum for people to share their secret innermost thoughts --the kind that cannot be shared openly without bringing shame and ridicule on oneself.

It is NOT a place for you to gripe when nobody in your real life will listen to you because your tedious life irks are stupid and trivial.

Dammit, the readers want more stories of secret revenge --preferably involving wiping poop on the subject's tooth brush! (Never gets old.)

Who the hell is in charge of quality control here?
8
Amen.
9
Oh fuck me, please not a return to the days of bodily-fluid/dirty parts revenge stories invented by 12-year-old boys.
10
I couldn't care less about your "problem." In fact, I hope it happens to you a little more often. Maybe you'll learn the value of not leaving at the absolute last second every day.

Sympathy denied.
12
These are passive-aggressive sociopathic hicks who want to fuck up the lives of us city folk. I may be a native Oregonian, but my father is from New York and I learned to drive in LA. Oregon drivers suck. Not that I'm so great, but at least I have some understanding that people are trying to get places, and can put my foot down.

Seriously though, the lifestyle Anonymous is wondering about is engaged in productive work during the summer, and lives off unemployment, food stamps, and venison during the winter. No place to go, no reason to go fast. Your problem is not their problem.

I recommend honking.
13
Jam, if your baseline for driving is NY and LA, then what makes you think that anyone even notices when you honk. I know I don't. I can think of nothing more impotent than honking.

You'll never be able to control what others do on the road. All you can control is what you do yourself. Leave earlier. That's the one and only solution to this problem. Everything else is just impotent bluster.
14
Yeah and they don't let skateboards down the hills without helmets. Dammit.

What about if one goes thru a tree?
15
there's no traffic at 5:30 AM, just so you know IA and my commute is a dream!
16
(please don't own a PDX food cart.)
17
I am retired. Tailgate or be otherwise rude, I slow down. Must say I do enjoy reactions in the mirror. A favorite hobby!
18
Unless there is poor weather conditions, drive the damn speed limit.
19
I agree with this person wholeheartedly. And what's with all you people making up a strawman argument? He didn't say that he's trying to clock in on time, or beat a deadline. Even if you have all the time in the world, why spend it on the highway behind some self-important ass who won't let anyone pass?
20
"Self-important ass who won't let anyone pass"? How is anyone supposed to let anyone pass in a *no-passing zone* which is what Anon specifically said? And Anon is clearly contrasting him/herself to someone who has a "lifestyle" that means they don't have to rush to wherever they're going, which is stupid. Leave earlier. A difference in speed of about 5 mph doesn't really make a difference in getting somewhere on time unless you're talking about a relatively far commute anyway. Stop speeding and trying to beat the clock, idiots, it's dangerous.
21
Welll, the person could pull over and let folks pass, right?
And who said anything about speeding?
22
Wrong.
And come on, anyone so irate about someone else going 5 under the limit is speeding.