I didn't break up with you because of the reasons I stated. I was just too embarrassed and ashamed to tell you the truth. I couldn't take it anymore, so I just made up some stupid reason and stuck with it. I wanted to tell you the truth, trust me, but I know how petty I would sound. Listen, you are completely obsessed with your fucking dog. You treat him like a spoiled child and having to compete for your attention was something I couldn't continue. I tried for a little while, I tried to be cool with it, but I really wasn't. When he would jump all over me, you'd just laugh and say, "he likes you!". When you let him sleep with us, you let him lay in between and I felt like I was cuddling with a smelly dog all night. There is a MUCH longer list than this, I just won't bore the general public with them. He ruled your world, not me. He got undivided attention, not me. How could I say that I'm breaking up with your because I felt inferior to your dog? How in the hell would that make me look? Pathetic and petty, that's how. The last straw was when you made ME sit in the back seat of your car while your dog rode shotgun, that was just too humiliating and that's when I decided to break up with you. I'll never forget that old lady's face on the street as we drove by her with your shaggy dog's silhouette riding in the passenger seat and my sorry ass in the back... I could tell that she knew my pain.
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