So you’re over 21 now. Congratulations. Me too. You’ve been going to bars now for a few years and I bet that feels pretty special. I’m stoked for you. Really. I’d give you a cookie or a medal and whatever zany bullshit drop shot you want after you show me some ID. But let me tell you this… The next time I hear one of you make a giant scene saying “I can't believe I'm getting carded! Wow! It makes me feel so young again." Only to hand me an ID that says you are 23, I am going to lose it... and if there is any fairness in the world gain the ability to SHOOT LASER BEAMS FROM MY EYES. It’s okay to be young, not to be an uppity drunk yuppie. So seriously, get it together or get out.
YES, I Am Really Carding You
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