How to Board MAX


I get it, you mean those are things people *shouldn't* do. Clever!
I feel bad for people who have to ride public transit. Those people are so, so, so damn gross :/
5. Once the train is on its way and the doors are safely closed, evacuate any gas that might be present in your shit tubes, confident that it won't be wasted like it would be in the outside air.
And of course there's the unspoken rule about boarding and riding the max
5. Deal with minor life inconveniences by being a whiny bitchy baby anonymously on the internet.
This got more transaction on Reddit
6. Have a loud personal conversation on your phone for the duration of the ride. Make sure it includes much foul language and tough talk about what you are going to do to that "little bitch."
@Blabby, be sure to include the phrases "my PO told me
', and "I just got released". Yes, this anon nailed it, and for those of you who don't have to ride public transportation you can stick it brother!
Very true Showstopper. Another classic is the fresh-from-the-OB "yep, I'm pregnant"/obviously-wasn't-planned phone conversation in the midst of forty strangers.

I've heard that one four times I believe over the years.
Don't forget to stretch your feet across the seat next to you! Backpacks also work. Just make sure you don't have to sit next to some asshole.
And make sure the plastic bag of returnables you are hauling around is leaking a nice frothy mixture of backwash, beer, malt liquor with just a little bit of high fructose corn syrup for stickiness.
7. Profit.
Oh, ok -- thanks. I guess I've been doing correctly all along.
Aestro wins
8. Stand under the bike hook on an otherwise empty train and give the guy asking you to please move so he can hang his bike up a look like he had asked if he could shit in your mouth a bit.
9. Sneeze some snot into your hands and wipe it on the nearest surface. Sharing is caring!