Yeah we're both in our 30s now. I know. But i still remember, clear as day, the bullshit you threw at me because I was one of life's little rejects in junior high. I could explain what was happening back then and why I was a loser but you probably wouldn't care. Because you were one of the privileged few. The popular girls.

So imagine my surprise when I see your name pop up on a mutual friend's Facebook account. I was transported back to my deep loneliness and instantly felt like a goddamned loser. Again. Until my darling husband pointed some things out:

- That haircut/color makes you look about 40. You're in your 30s now, stop going to fucking Bishop's. It's also, and how do I put this delicately, meant for someone 10 years younger.

-I traveled around Europe, have a great job and live in an excellent neighborhood. You're living in some shitty apartments downtown. Besides all that, I did some other awesome fucking things.

- And, this is key, the way I know the person on Facebook is through one of the most handsome men I've ever known. Who wouldn't have looked at you twice.

And you're their employee.

So bitch, I did fucking win. 13 year old me is laughing her fucking ass off. Goes to show those movies about the loser getting her revenge just by existing.

Well... yeah. Sometimes it works out.

Enjoy your loser life you nasty little piece of shit.

(PS the top down camera angle really just makes me think you got fat.)