Umm, GO big fat fuck yourself!
You have officially hacky sack stalled my likeness for dating sites for just a moment. I like dating sites for three reasons; 1) I get to read all there is to read about Portland, and the people in it. 2) I get to stroll through man profiles, while forming a fucking “well aren’t you a big bag of fun” opinion. 3) I might just get lucky and score good conversation, and maybe meet someone new.
But you’re a fucking liar! Once conversation has been had, I typically like to add my new friends to facebook. Facebook is enticing, it’s fun to read in its history, and I love reading about those who are new to me. BUT while viewing your facebook page after our recent add, I found that everything you told me about yourself over the last few days was a lie. You can’t fucking get mad at me for not wanting to dating someone who only sees their kids every two weeks, you also have your address as a 4 star apartment in downtown Portland which cost about $4k a month, but yet you live on 33rd and Hawthorne.
You don’t even pay for your own garbage service, you drive it to your neighbors work, and you’ve only met them twice. If i were to guess and rate our first date before it happens, i would rate it as, you're going to be single for a really long fucking time, so no thank you.
Get the best of the Mercury each week in your inbox!