This Week in the Mercury


Wednesday, February 20, 2013

Commitment Shaming, AKA "I just wanted some play."

Posted by Anonymous on Wed, Feb 20, 2013 at 11:55 PM

I want to say that I'm all about whatever various relationships people feel comfortable with, be it same sex, polyamory, monogamy, whatev, get your strange on. But what I take issue with is the attitude against people who want a traditional commitment, in particular women. Like all these other things are valid, but if you want a boyfriend you're a clingy and uptight. I'm tired of watching my lady friends meet guys they like, but stress out over expressing that they really aren't interested in casual sex. We advise each other "You don't want to drive them away" and "don't push it to fast too soon," but inevitably my girlfriends end up sharing physical intimacy without any emotional investment on the part of their suitors, and then being left in the dust. I say fuck that! Enough! Portland dudes, get it together! it's not our responsibility to clarify to you that we want to continue to see you if we like you enough to fuck you. AND that maybe we also are hesitant about commitment but if you want to fuck us you better be down to hang and see what might happen, and I'm not talking booty calls. If you're comfortable enough to do it, you should be comfortable enough to say it: "I want to fuck you but not date you." It's not on us to find a way to ruin the moment by letting you know, in all our shame, that we want the option of exploring the possibilities before or after we share what is arguably the most intimate, sacred act two people can share. It should be a given.

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