To the passive-aggressive bitches standing behind me at the Patti Smith show, have you ever been to a concert before? If you arrive at the last minute, don’t expect the crowd to part like the Red Sea so that you can get to the front; expect to stand behind the people who got there early. Instead of feeling fortunate you were in the presence of a rock legend, you spent most of the concert passive-aggressively bitching to each other (loudly, so we could hear you) about me and my friend not letting you stand in front of us. Fuck you dude. If you want to go to the front so bad, get some cajones and push your way up there instead of standing behind me whining! Who tries to PASSIVE-AGRESSIVELY get up to the stage at a concert? It was like some kind of joke about Generation Y. It’s a rock concert, and life doesn’t owe you shit, least of all the best possible view of Patti Smith. Though actually, I find it hard to believe that you even cared about the music at all since you spent so much time talking, taking instagrams and being dicks instead of listening to the FUCKING AMAZING MUSIC. Look, it’s not my job to placate your shitty sense of entitlement; I don’t even know you, why should I have to change your diaper? And if I ever see any of you again, I’m going to completely shove you into a wall in a totally not passive way. Eat a bag of dicks ladies.
Survival of the Bitchiest
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