Please stop using Facebook as your brag board.
I don't give a shit that you kicked ass this term and fucking "pwnd" your finals.
I don't give a shit that you're pregnant again and that you hand made all your baby shower invites ("OMG, aren't they the cutest thing? I totally found this on Pinterest! Not too shabby, if you ask me!!")
I don't give a shit that your skin is gorgeous and glowing, due to that parasite growing inside you.
I don't give a shit about anything you post (hence why I unfriended you).
And I surely don't give a shit about anything you say. ("Why did you unfriend me? Am I over doing it with the baby stuff, again?? Hee hee hee.)
Just stay in Gresham, shit out a ton of kids, graduate and stop sending me friend invites and texting me if I want to catch up. I told you you're annoying and I don't care about your life.
Get the best of the Mercury each week in your inbox!