Yelpers Stay Home


uh-oh, someone hates democratization of information.

I don't go out to have my mellow harshed. Do you, IA?
I thought that was the point of Yelp?
Anyone that treats Yelp as gospel probably is a knob that gets off on treating waiters like indentured servants.

Anyone that completely dismisses Yelp probably DOES either have mediocre to shitty food or treat their customers as a nuisance.
Uh oh, a crappy business person got a bad review from a commoner. For their crappy business practices (food, no doubt). Fuck those commoners and their opinions. I serve Hamms. To keep it real.
I quit yelp after the third business owner in a row "reached out to me" with a bitchy email demanding to know why I dared give them a two- or even three-star review. Every time they asked me to revise my review and bump up the star rating.

Fuckers, if I wanted to argue about my experiences at your establishment I would have done it in person. But I'd already deemed you an asshole not worth my time-- so you get a yelp review with no punches pulled. Suck it.
The act of documenting one's unfavorable dining experiences is now considered "slander"? I guess that rates right up there with the act of labeling anyone who does something you don't like a 'Nazi'; equally ridiculous.
I was really excited to check out this I,A post. I had heard good things from a friend who read it for her 30th birthday party. She really wanted me to try it out.

First the good: The vocabulary, syntax and sense of high dudgeon was just what I was looking for. The post seemed to really know what it was trying to convey, and if that is your thing, you will really like this post! I checked out this post on a Monday morning, and was surprised to see it wasn't that busy at all. I had no trouble reading it right away.

Now the bad: The sense of passive aggressive entitlement was a bit off-putting. And do you really have to mix the Jiffy Lube with the restaurants? They didn't seem to belong on the same plate. Finally, the resolution seemed about three or four sentences too late. No need to ruin a good post by taking forever to bring the closure.

Overall: 3 stars.

P.S. Order the Damian's Flaming Margarita! OMG!!
"on a worldwide platform"

That's exactly it. We want THE WHOLE WORLD TO KNOW YOU SUCK! Those Bangladeshis are all chuckling about that sad excuse for eggs benedict and the almost-vodka-free bloody mary you foisted on me, as well as the festering crust of unhealed tattoo peeking out from beyond your band-aid.
Dear Aestro, agreed.

Dear Blabby, maybe it's because I can't not hear Nick Offerman's voice when I read your posts, but that^^ just made me fall in love with you a little bit.
Thanks, I love you too Boober.
Maybe you wouldn't have written this if you didn't suck as a server. If you constantly get bad reviews, maybe you suck. Maybe you should get a job where you don't have to deal with customers, like the fuckin dishwasher.

Suck it, loser.
Damn you Blabby, you wrote my comment. And I, too, read your comments in Nick Offerman's voice.
So, you guys all know that Yelp filters out positive comments, right? You have to write at least one bad review before the system thinks you're legit.
Yeah, fuck reviews. I'd much prefer to waste my time and money finding out how shitty your place is myself.

It's not hard to tell if a review was simply "an off night" when there are many other reviews to take into consideration. It's called media literacy. If you see that a reviewer only does negative reviews, you take it with a grain of salt. Legit people know how to filter out the assholes. It's not difficult. It's why I bypass your reviews.
yelp is awesome!!!!! i often use it, saves me time and grief. your an idiot!!!!!