This Week in the Mercury


Wednesday, April 3, 2013

Just the Tip

Posted by Anonymous on Wed, Apr 3, 2013 at 11:04 AM

Sure. Tipping is not mandatory. Counter service is not the same as table service. And actually, if you just get a burger, burrito, sandwich or slice I can believe that you just did not have time to pack lunch that day and you are a broke student. But when you buy your buddies lunch and two drinks and I see you draw that cute little 0.00 on the tip line I want to see you torn apart by rabid possums and then set what is left of your body on fire. I would never spit on someones food, but once you have stiffed me a couple times, you get the slime tomatoes from the bottom, and the worst of everything else. Don't worry, I remember your face. I can't wait until you spend every night sobbing into your useless degree in poetic finger painting and go to a food service job in the morning. You can think of whatever excuse or reasoning you want, but you still get the slime tomatoes. Business guy on his cell phone forgets to tip every time? Slime tomatoes. Look deep into my eyes and say thank you while drawing a line through my bill money? Slime tomatoes. I only find a few slime tomatoes a day, but I'll find something squishy for you don't worry.

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