Downtown today I saw two policemen arresting a man. One policeman had the man pinned to the ground, digging a knee into his back. The other policeman sort of just stood around. The man being arrested yelled, "Help. Somebody help. Someone take a picture. YouTube, YouTube. While people are fucking me up." Then the policemen tied a hooded mask over the man's head and he went silent. I had forgotten my phone at home and couldn't take a picture, so I did the next best thing. I went to a department store to buy some dumbbells so that if ever again I saw two policemen ganging up on a man, I could be the one who evens the score. Two on two, bitches. This is Rip City. Play fair or go home. But the department store didn't have dumbbells or any other exercise equipment that would get me ripped, so I bought a pair of shoes and a frying pan instead, and I went home.