Here's a Bag of Dicks

Comments

1
Something tells me that even if she left her husband, you would still be left holding said bag o' dicks.
2
Ahh, so compassionate and worldly. 'You better start being a decent husband, or I'm gonna steal your wife away from you.'
I know, personally, that's what I always want to hear from someone I'm taking advice from and looking to for moral guidance. And make sure to tell whoever you're with, or whoever you date in the near future, this story so that they know what an inspiration you are, too.
3
Just try it. Once I'm through with you, you'll be pissing ampersands for a week.
4
Ok, is Anon offering the wife a bag of dicks, or a babysitter? The husband is probably hoping someone like bag of dicks will come along and rescue him...
5
This is just the updated version of the Beatle's song "You're gonna lose that girl" (which I've always thought was a pretty crappy sentiment).
6
GRAMMAR POLICE: ANON COMPLIMENTS HUSBAND'S MANHOOD AS GRANDIOSE.
7
I am in a similar situation. Be careful what you do and what you really want. I am happy with friendship and will not compromise that. You may want to asses why you are doing this.
8
If you're going to tell someone to "grow a pair already", anonymously is probably the most hypocritical way to do it.
9
Your "friend" might not be the exemplary wife she portrays herself to be. And since when does being a friend mean that you're just waiting for the right time put the tip in? You might want to try being a real friend and offering some ways to help her salvage their marriage.

They have kids and you have blue balls. Think it through, chief.
10
You are also hearing one side of the story. She could be a less-than-stable complainer who uses you to vent for an hour then goes home to a fine marriage. How do you think her husband would describe the situation? Because that's the role you would be assuming.

If you are in any way responsible for her leaving him, then you are stuck with that shit. Can't just say "no thanks" at that point. Bad juju.
11
WELCOME TO THE FRIENDZONE!!
12
Anon sounds jealous of the husband. And why are you telling your 'friend' she's incredible and taking her out to get drunk? Sounds like you're trying to bust out of the friendzone into something more lustful ---- and failing at it. Sad. Leave this couple alone and quit trying to be some knight in shining armor. The girl probably thinks you're a total pushover btw.
13
Somebody has to stand up for his hag if she isn't gonna do it herself *triple snaps*