Hey. You. The attractive, smart, funny one who hangs out on the internet. Do you have a profile on OKC? You do? Okay, sit down for a sec. Let's have a chat.
I know. Dating is supposed to be fun, but somehow...it's not always. It's time-consuming. It takes emotional energy. You feel guilty not liking the people who like you and often personally rejected by the people who aren't right. I get it. And the pure amount of rejection any one person might experience in this process, no matter how attractive, well-adjusted, and great you are— well, it makes you question things you thought were true about yourself. Which is maybe good for us, but certainly isn't easy.
I have a request that might make this better for everyone. Can we approach every date we go on with a little bit more compassion and kindness? A recognition that every person we go out with is dynamic, has feelings, and is human? Inevitably, we're going to judge that person. We're going to quickly assess if they fit into all of the little checkboxes we've made for ourselves while creating an online persona that represents what we think we deserve in whatever we're looking for. It's hard enough to be judged—must we be entirely self-serving? Never responding to a person? Ignoring them for days, sometimes weeks, sometimes forever? Making fun of them to friends for any misstep? That's all shitty. Can we just...have good manners a little more often? Be a little bit kinder and more compassionate?
Get the best of the Mercury each week in your inbox!