This Week in the Mercury

Tuesday, April 23, 2013

I Apologize for Going Down on All Four of You

Posted by Anonymous on Tue, Apr 23, 2013 at 1:57 PM

But it was a miraculous evening, and I will never forget my birthday that recently just passed. You see, I had the whole evening planned out. Laughter, drinks, you at work at the Boom Boom Room. Walking into your place of work was an experience in itself to say the least. The first thing I noticed was how much anxiety consumed my body, when I drunkenly realized height ratio between me and the bartender. I might have even winked at you, for our exact mental “be careful” facial expression exchange. My efforts not to fall went untouched the moment I told my buddy to excuse himself, because I needed “alone time” with the four of you on the back patio. All four of you were so beautiful in your work outfits. During our alone time I realized I had no cash on me. As I went to start my drunken journey to the atm, is when it happened (and quickly). I remember looking down at you stating I’ll be right back. I noticed while you were sitting on the ground that, if I step over you I may step on you. I think you noticed the same actually because I went to short step in between your legs, and that’s when you moved, and I went down like a timbering Redwood. You know the scene in the movie “My Best Friends girl” when Dane falls in the park, and he looks up at Kate with her face glistening in front of the sun? that’s exactly how I felt as you and your sparkling cleavage reached down to save me. I hope you won the contest that night, because you and your fancy clapping shoes deserved it!

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