Get a Life, Portland

Comments

1
I guess what you're saying is that you love the city but you hate the people. JOIN THE CLUB!
2
"I am twenty years old"

Ah, so you haven't had the joy of getting a college degree only to be forced into a shitty job with a bunch of dumb teenagers because it's better than being unemployed?
3
Sounds like you misjudged the job market just like they did. Lots of young people moving here without much of a plan, including you.
4
So you moved here from Jersey and are now bitching about all the other young people who moved here from Jersey? You can go right ahead and fuck yourself.
5
"Have some ambition and go get a real job!" What constitutes a real job? Maybe you haven't noticed, but there aren't a lot of jobs around, bitch.
6
Ah yes, the myth amongst non-college grads that being a college grad will actually help you. WE need those jobs cause we have student loans to pay!

Anyway, if you grew up here, then I do have some empathy for your situation, despite your sounding like a jackass. It's really fucking hard to enter the work force here without prior experience. Once you're out of high school you're immediately competing with 20-somethings from California for every menial task, and they all have 5 years bartending experience. The first couple jobs are just about impossible to get because nobody wants to hire anyone without experience, and you can't get experience because nobody will hire you. Chances are you're going to have to find a shit job in a mall and commute there until you've done enough time to find something better.
7
"I have never had to work harder in my life."

Yeah, no shit -- you're 20, dude. You haven't worked at all. What, maybe a couple of summers during high school for gas money to drive daddy's car and then maybe some in the couple of years since you graduated? Tip of the tip of the tip of the iceberg, man.

Take my advice, son. Find yourself a sugar momma and find her NOW. Don't be too picky. Treat her well. Clean the bathroom when she's at work. Tell her she's beautiful. Don't let her find your porn stash. Leave the shit jobs for 30-something, sugar momma-less failures like me.

It's either that, or working for the man 40 hours/week, 50 weeks/year until you're goddamn 72.

Now, seriously, go comb your hair a bit and start making nice with 50-year-old women that own their own home.
8
Yeah, the reason college grads are working shit jobs is because they want to, you dumb motherfucker.

Also: Hawthorne, like every other fucking street that runs east-west in Portland, is not an Avenue, fuckwad.
9
College graduates don't have to get the minimum wage jobs that they usually gravitate to; they just give up on searching for a career and settle for what they can get now. A lot of them feel overtly privileged; they got a useless degree and now they expect the minimum wage job markets to just bow down to them; which they do, sadly. I wish they'd just move back to whatever shit town they moved away from. I'm tired of seeing their depressing faces in the streets of Portland, I'm tired of hearing them whine in restaurants and coffee shops. You dolts put yourselves in this position; get the fuck over yourselves; you people have it lucky compared to those with actual real problems; like starvation perhaps?
10
Translation: Hey guys Portlandia said I could retire here, what gives? You actually need an income in Portland?? HAHA OMG GET A LIFE PORTLAND!!!!!!!!
11
You think people with degrees choose shitty jobs that should only go to college students and high school dropouts? Those are the only jobs here, buddy. Hell, sometimes a degree actually hurts, especially since we have to pay those fuckers back. Ambition is a luxury when the bills are due every month.
12
Check out the agressive pan handlers in San Francisco, who you have to kick in the shins, and poke in the eye, when they block your path. Not that Portland doesn't pretty much suck now, too.
13
PSU told me that my prospective degree in Latin had numerous job prospects in the Portland area.
14
^ This only makes me even happier that I never met with an adviser during my time at PSU. I can read the degree requirements for myself. I don't need to be LIED TO on top of having my money taken.
15
In related news, life is tough and often unfair and Lance Armstong is a big liar
16
Okay okay, I dig what you guys are saying to this little guy, i really do, but seriously.... there are a bunch of lazy cunts here that could do better but are lazy. A good portion of them moved here specifically to be lazy when it was still cheap to live here. And now it's not cheap to live here, so fuck them. And fuck this whiny little brat, as well.
17
At least everybody here has been decent enough not to blame the FLICK'n wetbacks for stealing jobs from highschoolers.
18
all twenty-somethings with bartending experience are from california.