Mini-Skirt Wearing Ladies of Portland (I'm assuming ladies of America at this point, really): CROSS YOUR LEGS!

I am sick of sitting on public transit and having your cooter shoved in my line of sight. I'm sure all the dudes on the train are checking you out because you're just so cute. Or maybe it's just your cooter hanging out.

I guess our generation wasn't taught how to sit like a lady. Google it on your smartphone, skank!