I have a list of psychiatrists in my area from my health insurance company. A big list. I'm not exactly in the boondocks here. So far I've called 20 of you. FUCKING 20 OF YOU. For the most part I get voicemail that says "not taking new patients." (In fact that's been about 15.) For the ones without that message, I leave one on your voicemail because heaven fucking forbid you pick up your fucking phone.

And guess what? Since I started this little adventure a month ago not a single one of you fucking assholes has deigned to call me back.

You'd think for a second that maybe you'd go "huh, this person is seeking a mental health professional. MAYBE I SHOULD HELP." But no, you're so stuck in your own self important little bubble that you can't even be bothered to talk to me for a minute.

Maybe this is fucking why people are losing it. "Access to mental health resources." And it has nothing to do with my insurance company or myself, it has everything to do with the fucking providers.

So to the list of 20 people I've called. A BIG FUCK YOU. Maybe the other 20 will actually have some compassion and be willing to help.

(Guessing not)