Goose Hollow Inn Saint (I'm sorry!)


Why wouldn't you ask for a toilet brush and a mop. You sir, are an asshole.
You just inconvenienced Mayor Bud Clark. And for that you will never be forgiven. Go back to California. Right now.
Worst Bukowski story ever.
It's people like you that make me such a cynic and sometimes-misanthrope. And there are LOTS of you sloppy bitches. And i bet you have kids, too, right? Of course you do.

And you're even worse than most, because you actually have some semblance of a conscience (hence your post here), but yet not enough decency to have done anything about it at the time. At the very least you could've given the dude a guilty look and an embarrassed apology as you left (along with a genuine 'thank you', of course).

But why not clean up after yourself a bit? Even armed with only a couple wads of toilet paper and another flush of the toilet, you could've done a pretty good job of mitigating the horror. But no -- you're a pathetic, ungrateful, inconsiderate fuck.

Now what do you think that guy's response is going to be to the next person that needs the same favor you did? It's a good bet that his answer will now be the same as mine whenever i'm asked the same thing in the small, one-toileted shop i work at: "I'm sorry, but it's not a public bathroom." (Translation: "No fucking way. Most people are disgusting, and i'd rather not share a toilet with you. I'm sorry that i'm not sorry. Go away.")
Much like the state of your asshole post-explosive defecation, I am quite torn here. I can't lie and say it wasn't a dick-headed move on your part, Anon, because the way you descriptively listed the events of your ill-fated rendezvous with the Goose Hollow Inn toilet has me hoping that karma will be swift enough to leave you next time shitting your pants on the Max (otherwise known as 'humanity' to Ian Karmel.) But I also understand the utter shame and embarrassment in having to unload in a public place; the only time I've gone in public is when I had to wager which would be worse, and I decided having the beer shits streaking down my leg was definitely worse than unloading said beer shits in a strip club bathroom. Not my proudest moment, and I was definitely mortified upon exiting into a sea of naked women waiting to use their dressing room.
I get that a lot of shame goes into having to allude to some major wrong doing in the bathroom; no one wants to be the person who has to exit a reeking bathroom, or in your case, who has to ask for bleach, sponges and a one strong fucking candle. However, being torn in this situation, I can say that no one wants to be the goodhearted employee who suffered the consequences of your irritated bowels and subsequent bolting the fuck out, either.

There are no winners here, just a shitty person in a situation, and a person left with a shitty situation.
@H.I.T. - WTF does having kids have to do with this? Does having kids make your bowels looser? Or are the only ones on the Max at 6 a.m. responsible, job-holding adults, more likely then to have kids? Or at least kids that they know of? You're deductive skills have lost me.

Of course, the clue is in your first line. Cynic and misanthrope.
@ pdxMB:

I was simply lamenting the possibility of an asshole like this being able to pass on his ideas of 'appropriate behavior' to any children he might have; children that probably wouldn't fall too far from his tree. Yes, a cynic assumes the worst -- and a disrespectful asshole raising kids is more worrisome than a disrespectful asshole who isn't.

Granted, parts of my prior comment were a bit alarmist and melodramatic -- this is a rant blog, after all. But think about it: if this guy witnessed his kid making a mess like this, it sounds like there's a good chance he wouldn't do much more than shrug his shoulders and say something like "Shit happens, son. Oh well. Let's go -- someone else will have to deal with it."

Whereas another type of parent (a more responsible and respectful one, like you perhaps) might demand that his child act in a more considerate way and at least clean up a little and apologize to the employee that just did them a favor. Wouldn't you be a little disappointed if you found out that the author of this I,A was one of your kids? That they chose the easy way out and only apologized anonymously, well after the fact?

The golden rule, folks.