This Week in the Mercury

Burn Notice


Burn Notice

Backlash Against a Portland Crematory Could Spark Statewide Change

New Column!


New Column!

Calling all sexy people: It's the HUMP! 2015 call for submissions!

Saturday, June 22, 2013

Attic Jacker

Posted by Anonymous on Sat, Jun 22, 2013 at 7:42 AM

I have the worse room in a shared house in the SE. Worst house, worst room. Ever. I've been here a few months and I am about to bounce.

Here's why: I got the fuckin attic. It's got nice windows, floors and tall ceilings. But it's about to get crazy hot up there and the rent is a bit much( As I type this, it's fucking 82 degrees up here x 500 a month, good luck replacing me).

Here's mostly why: every time I want to rub one out, it shakes the whole fucking house! The only way is if I lie on my back, with my knees up on a chunk of carpet. Im not against that but I prefer a little variety.

No ones moving out of any of the normal rooms anytime soon so I must move on. Hopefully, I'll find a place where I can snap at it without sweating then dehydrating then diarreah blues....

Comments (17)

Showing 1-17 of 17

Subscribe to this thread:
Showing 1-17 of 17

Comments are closed.

Most Commented on I, Anonymous

All contents © Index Newspapers, LLC

115 SW Ash St. Suite 600
Portland, OR 97204

Contact Info | Privacy Policy | Production Guidelines | Terms of Use | Takedown Policy