We Don't All Think Your Fucking Kid's Cute

Comments

1
Who said they thought it was cute? Maybe they were just really really high.
2
Fucking grouch. Move to the suburbs if you don't want to be in a city with children.

Consider yourself lucky it was a girl on the bike. Had it been a boy, he may have thrown a catcall your way, and who knows what kind of unhinged rant that would have released.
3
^ haha it's jake, the guy who has the black friend who told him he's the only cool white person in Portland! I missed you bro.

In all honesty though Anon is right. I had something nearly identical happen last weekend on that esplanade dip that goes under the east side of the Hawthorne bridge.. funny turn and a bit of a blind spot and some dumbass family was going the usual 2mph and the daughter had hopped off her bike and was blocking the entire path as us cyclists were launching down through this dip and we all had to skid on the brakes and run into the dirt to avoid this dumbass kid. The mother, instead of saying "get out of the way!" to her daughter and apologizing, instead gives us a look of "isn't she adorable? don't you just totally think she's SO precious???????" This look made me fight for my life to keep the bile from projectile vomiting out of my mouth.

It's really astonishing how many shitty/clueless parents there are out there. Childfree people don't hate your kids, they hate YOU, the shitty parent who's shitty behavior has turned their shitty kid into an even shittier kid with shades of shit smeared all over their shitty, shit stained mouths.
4
I pretty much relate and agree on this one.
5
43 and childless by choice? Nagging suspicions on that one..
6
Here's a tip. Edit your rants. Tighten. That's a lot of text for what's essentially "Your kid scared me! WTF!"
7
"daughter did go barreling out of control around a corner and almost run a person over"
You fucking wimp. you ALMOST got run over by a little kid? and got all worked up about it? i would be grinning too. suck it up, that's life in public.

Also, suggesting how you would have acted if you had kids, when you've decided they aren't for you-- that's idiotic. Keep your lack of perspective to yourself.
8
You'd have to be high if you think bicycling with your children is enjoyable.
9
Christ why can't these people move to Beaverton or Tigard or Gresham or Vancouver when they get bred? Leave the city to the adults, please!

LOVE this I,A!
10
OH MY GOD A CHILD ON A BIKE THE END IS NEAR MY PROBLEMS ARE SO BAD AND LIFE IS HARD
11
HAHAHA! 43 and childless by "choice" and all of a sudden you realize you still have to deal with children!! HAHAHAHH! Sucker! Welcome to life.
12
Boo Hoo
13
I prefer the term "child-free"; you don't go around saying your "cancer-less", now do you?
14
I prefer the term "free"; no nagging, crying, vomiting, shitting, pissing, stinky kids to fuck up your game.

I honestly don't know one single parent in this town who is truly happy. Every time we talk on the phone it's nothing but tales about the trials and tribulations of parenthood and how stressed they are and how desperate they need a vacation or even a day off. My guess is most pregnancies are accidental, followed by the parents convincing themselves it's what they really want. You can't really openly admit you regret having a kid, society frowns on it.

I once had a woman who was late for her period, it was the most suffocating and crippling week in my life -- the fear that my life was now over due to some accidental baby. When she found out she wasn't pregnant I can't even begin to put into words the relief I felt. I called every friend up and invited them to the bar and dropped nearly 800$. That feeling of relief confirmed just how much I value my life and the luxury to do whatever I like without worrying about a kid/babysitter/etc.

Having kids and the idea of the nuclear family is such an antiquated idea. Too many bastard kids/orphans who need adoption as it is, but everyone has to have their own precious gold star child because they're special.

I know society tells us it's "noble" to make the sacrifice and have kids, but that's the same as joining the army or talking about "we need to pay teachers more!" Yeah, society expects us to say that shit, but behind closed doors we're just like "rofl yea fuckin right!"

Truth hurts. Downvote away between diaper changing and vomit cleaning.
15
Kids are great j.cas. Best part of my life. They are also highly stressful and keep me from doing lots of stuff I want to do. But that's adulthood.

There is always lots of rationalization from the "child-free" around here. Almost like they're trying to convince themselves of something....
16
"Best part of my life." Good thing parents don't go around rationalizing their kids existence.

Kids are a part of life. That's all. One day they'll be people and you'll just be a boring person talking about how you once had kids. Who doesn't know someone who's had kids? No one, because all of our parents had kids. We all know how it works. So stop pretending as if people without kids don't know exactly what it entails.

Everyone knows this. People who decide to have kids just start rationalizing this knowledge away a year or so before they do, telling themselves it will be different for them, easier, they'll make it work. Then they have them and realize pretty quickly that, oh fuck, it's the same as for everyone else who ever had kids on the entire fucking planet. Then they immediately resort to the rationalizations about how great their kids are in order to keep their world from falling apart into a mess of daycare and cubicle slave labor. Have fun with that.
17
"I honestly don't know one single parent in this town who is truly happy."

Now, if j.cas says HE doesn't know any happy parents (and he's being honest, guys), it probably means every parent in Portland is unhappy! Why? Because duh, he knows everyone. His wisdom and social connections share a common theme: they're undoubtedly infinite.
18
I know how it is. I won a goldfish at the fair one time, but he died so I flushed him down the toilet. The most stressful two weeks of my life.
19
look at all the bad parents trolling Merc comments instead of taking care of their accident/baby. Classic parents.
20
lol dying alone!
21
Hey j.cas: Can you have some more risky sex and invite me to your "I'm just so happy she's not preggers parties!" where you dole out the free liquor? Either that, or man up and have a vasectomy already? B/C I'm a woman who also does not want kids, and it would be awfully nice if the "not having kids" dudes in this town would man up and do something about it already. Because the fact is that is much easier to sterilize a man than a woman. Thanks for nothing, asshole.
22
Yeah, I'm sans children, actually. So I'm just trollin' normally...no lives at stake on MY watch.
23
Yup, what it comes down to is that unless it's a new restaurant that's not quite up to snuff, a mediocre whisky pairing or a dog being unaccountably left out in its yard alone, nothing should ever happen to anyone in Portland that is even slightly annoying or characteristic of an actual urban setting. The city should be utterly antiseptic and risk free and anything that falls short of antisepsis MUST be the result of someone else being an "asshole" or having the wrong views vis a vis a potential intrusion on your fucking "rights "as a member of some real or imagined 'group' fighting an identity political war. Apparently someone being mildly or accidentally inconsiderate is tantamount to a constitutional violation in PDX.