First Dates Suck

Comments

1
Applause.

You reminded us that the Cloak of Anonymity when used skillfully can provide the subterfuge to brutally slay tremendous lameness in the night.

Wish the rest of these hacks would catch a clue.
Now about that single status. Obviously you werent serious.

I dont do any of those lame things (i have my own set). I hang out at 45th st bar and grill if you are interested. Ask for Johnny:-)
2
That sucks, dude. This girl sounds like a nightmare! Women always want you to feel their surgery screws!
3
Yeah, being gay is no guarantee of compatibility.
4
...and you two met through eHarmony?
5
Sounds like a great date! Did y'all fuck?
6
Being single is good but so is dating the right person. My suggestion is that you find a cute, well-paid girl in the Pearl District to date. No bolts in the skull, no upselling, just cute squishy bewbz & awesomeness. Just say no to eastside bedbug infested dreadlocked tomboy hairy legged chicks.
7
You could have at least rubbed the person's stomach.

Is that so much to ask for on a first date these days?
8
"Fred Armisen was at our restaurant and you said you didn’t know who he was, so he’s not a celebrity and gave him shitty looks."

So true.
9
Did anyone else picture Zach Galifianakis as the subject of this one? Especially the belly rubbing part.
10
I picture the restaurant to be McCormick and Shmicks (sp?) Portland's expensive version of Applebees.
11
Was it just this guy doing it, or does everyone who sees Fred Armisen in a restaurant and doesn't realize he's a celebrity give him shitty looks? Even if Fred DOESN'T ask them to feel the screws in his skull?