You didn't have a stop sign, so why did you stop on Burnside during rush hour? Oh, it was to let me take to the road on my bike? Ok, I guess — I was going to wait for a break in traffic. You're still moving at about 5mph, so why are you making flappy hands at me? You're too old for that! I'm still waiting at my stop sign, but I guess I'll go because of all the traffic you're holding up. You're passing me with under a foot of clearance, pedal to the metal not ten seconds later, yelling about how I should be in the bike lane?
Bitch, there is no bike lane there! And when I pull up to you at the light to have words/take your mirror off and use it as a holiday decoration, what ho! You're talking on your goddamn phone, just like a chump!
You did SO MANY WRONG THINGS — the unsafe stopping, unsafe passing clearance, the yelling, the phone-talking — and all I was doing was obeying all the laws of the road and waiting patiently.