You Stole My Tip Jar


Thank you for spelling "millennia" correctly.
Maybe the perp objected to the principal of having tip jars in the 7-11.

Really what special thing are you doing with the slurpee machine and the hot dog rotator thing that anybody should tip you?

Bullying for tips is a crime dude. Glad somebody had the balls to stand up to you.
I was trying to hate this, but it just kept getting better... By the end, I cracked a smile.
I knew it was wrong to take it, but the Criterion Collection Blu-ray half-price sale was about to end, so I needed cash bad.
And what happened then? Well, in Burgerville they say
That the Crook's small heart grew three sizes that day!

He road into Burgerville. He brought back their monies.
He brought back their two's, their tens', and their twenties,

He brought back their nickles, pennies, and dimes,
He even brought pickles and a box of wedged limes.

He brought everything back, all the fast-food for the feast!
And he, he himself, the Crook carved the locally-grown-sustainable-organic roast beast!
You know now I'm just sort of curious to hear what the Spin Doctors covering "Life is a Highway" would actually sound like...
Let this be a lesson to you. The tip jar ought to have a hole in the bottom of it, that goes to a safe lock box beneath the counter.
Yeah, you need to remove the paper bills immediately, and don't leave more than a dollar in change. Do you think you're the first person to have their tip jar robbed?
I actually would like the Spin Doctors covering Life Is a Highway - even the worst of 90s music is better than the weenie twee crap today like fun., the Lumineers, and Passion Pit.
And learn this too, while you have that up your ass, add some lube.
Great rant