Mike...Years and Dirt, Miles and Trees Between Us

Comments

4
Holy shit dude needs a restraining order STAT!
5
"I missed you but I haven't met you"
Sorry Anon, but...

Some men don’t want to date,
Some men just want to fornicate.
Women should know by now,
That sex doesn't equal a fucking wedding vow.
Man says to women 'I don’t want to get too serious,'
'Too' translates to 'maybe,' which makes the women delirious.
Women reads way too into it, and gives man what he wants,
Then women gets mad, because there’s no fucking text message response.

Some women will have sex just to find her mate,
Some women will also lie, just to create a second date.
Man should know already,
That sex with a women leaves us emotional and unsteady.
Women says to man 'me too, I have a life to live'
'life to live' translates to 'I don’t need to respond tomorrow, so there’s nothing to forgive'
Man reads way too much into it, and continues on Okcupid,
Then women wonders what she did, and she's left with feeling stupid.

The missing fucking denominator is…
If you've never met, to at least fuck on the first date,
Chances are that dude isn't your fucking soul mate.
6
IAnon, I suggest you delete that screen capture of that guy you never talked to on OkCupid five years ago. Its time to let go.
7
Save this garbage for the "I saw you" postings. Now I have to go brush my teeth to wash out the taste of the vurp this posting just caused. I shouldn't be too harsh, I felt the same way about Christie Brinkley when I was old enough to get a boner.
8
the first paragraph is from a civil wars song, my guess is they have known each other for 5 years
9
WTF, Mike. How many others are there?
10
How do you know it's from a civil war VV?
11
bitches be crazy
12
Hey Baby
13
Stephoknee, I fail to see
What any of the advice that you hand out for free
While reaching ceaselessly for some vague rhyme
(Oh so mundane, trying to be sublime)

While using copious founts of punctuation
(Kinseyan indicator of sexual sublimation)
Has to do with any-fucking-thing
(Except mumming "Blogtown, Of Thee I Sing.")

My own taste runs to numerous ellipses
(My drinking both to chugging and to sipsies)
I guess the point is, poetry's annoying,
(Unless your favorite adjective is "cloying")

And reading yours is not entirely unlike the experience of sprinkling badly sunburned nipples with turmeric,
So give it up
And, like me,
Insult Erik.
14
People should have to get a license before they attempt to deploy "poetry."
15
Todd, Poetry is romantic. lmao I dont care what you say.
And you should do it more often, because yours was really cool to read.

"cloying" is the reason i dont swallow. HA!
16
Don't take it too seriously, Steph. I was just having fun. And was a tiny bit drunk.

"High in saturated fat" is the reason I don't swallow.
17
I know you're just having fun. If i took life to seriously, I'd have a 100 kids by now.

Also if you wrote that when you were drunk, I'm completely impressed over here.
18
Creepy.