Dear SE Division bar patron,
You and a gaggle of your 23 year old friends came in to the bar I work at the other night. You made a point to be friendly, engage me in conversation about coffee and beer production, and even humbly decided to teach me a thing or two because of your obvious intelligence and superiority in this male dominated paradigm of server and serviced. You really like the way I looked and were absolutely terrible at hiding the way your glassy eyeballs went up and down. You and your friends stayed for hours, being so friendly, and friendlier, as the drinks came. You cornered me a few times and close-talked me in the way only a sexually frustrated, young arian capitalist could. Perhaps to impress me more, you came to pay the $100 tab your friends accrued. After requesting one more for the road, my boss immediately 86'ed you because, boy, you were drunk as hell. I understand you wanted to fuck me, and that being cut off made you realize your impotence and failure as a sexual creature, but that doesn't mean that you should tip me and my hard working staff $00.00. Fuck you, little boy, and may every woman's magical pussy forever be out of your reach.