And act like you, I guess? Lessee, according to what I read here, that means everybody else should eschew their intellect, not date online (for some reason), not work at upscale grocery stores (okay, I suppose), not have beards or tattooes, not be easy going (!), not be a good friend (!!), write letters, display anything in the way of sensitivity, not talk smoothly or "chase" something.

Whereas we should all be like you: i.e. disproportionately pissed off at the behavior of a lot of strangers whose lives impact yours not in the least.
Cool band name, but I'm changing it to Orgasm Withcheeseburgers.
Nice list. A list in which you are the common denominator. Being shit on by such a wide array of suitors just tells us that you are disparate enough to sleep with anybody.
When you strike out over and over and over, BLAME EVERYONE ELSE
You cannot talk to me that way: I am a high school graduate!
Your pathetic attempt at subterfuge through pluralization has failed miserably. The guy you wrote this about is totally going to know it was you.
"Sack up"? Is that actually a phrase now?

Anyway, how did male genitalia ever manage to become associated with being a mature, assertive, responsible person? While I do enjoy a good penis, I find that I mostly associate it with impatience, impulsiveness, and a certain level of awkwardness. No offense meant - genitalia is genitalia as far as I'm concerned. I just don't think it has a whole lot to do with your being a decent person or not.

Anyway, what do I know? May you go fourth with all the valour of a scrotum! Huzzah!
And before some other jackass points it out, yes, I did mean to write "go forth" not "fourth".
Hey, i think you should lay off the fucking bullshit sensitive comics-loving letter writers, who smokes the ganja, and is chaser of the orgasm withholders.
Tease is a terrible thing to waste, plus it makes your vagina go kaboom!
Dear I,A,
Maybe you should stop going for guys like this?

Any one else notice that he/she/it never goes for intellectuals?