This Week in the Mercury


Saturday, October 26, 2013

Jerk-Off Roommate

Posted by Anonymous on Sat, Oct 26, 2013 at 7:23 AM

Dear Jerk-Off Roommate,

It would be wonderful if you sprouted a fucking clue and realized you should be living somewhere in the Pearl or SE where people are desperate enough to accept your rent money in order to maintain their vapid and useless lifestyles. Unfortunately, you moved in with a couple of professional adults who are capable of keeping a tidy household and recognize when you need to put forth any kind of effort around the house. I do really love the 110% effort put forth towards your diet and career. I must confess that, I don't really dig the 5% effort effort you muster to do anything other than washing OUR fucking dishes.

I wish I could be blamed for passive-aggressive behavior, but making multiple (and straight-forward) requests that you lift a fucking finger around the house seems to have no effect on that pea-brain of yours. When your roommates have little or nothing to say to you on a daily basis, maybe you should have the common fucking sense to realize that a new living situation may be in order.

FYI, this “Anonymous” sentiment won't last very much longer. I can only hope that you read this post, and that I see that dopey fucking face when I inform you that you have 30 days to find a new living situation. Good luck with your uber-healthy and annoyingly intrusive lifestyle.
Asswipe!!!

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