This Week in the Mercury

Thursday, November 7, 2013

Mount UP!

Posted by Anonymous on Thu, Nov 7, 2013 at 3:28 PM

Painstakingly examined in recent conversations with my girlfriends the other night, a question about men has been brought to the table.

Why the fuck don’t some of you dudes like or want to make out anymore? The non-kissing penis kindred is on the rise, and I don’t quite actually understand it. Do you dudes not realize that sucking face, leads to sex? Frequent sex? Kissing makes your penis hard. Long kissing sessions is the feel good action, that tells your brain that it’s okay to think and finally make decisions with the little guy acting as your Commanding Officer. This is your moment. Kissing is your moment.

It’s not just one girlfriend who’s consistently bitching about not getting any lip love (cause we could blame it on one’s breath if that were the case.) It’s seriously every women I talk to, who has this same complaint. Dudes in the beginning want to kiss, I hear that. But after a few weeks in, your non-kissing, bland in bed true colors start to show. These women that I am talking about are Puma’s too, they’re colleague’s to the Cougar. On the richter scale from one to ten, their blowjobs are at least a seven and you don’t cheers them with first base first? Women want to jump from the highest point. All you’re allowing her to do is jump off a curb.

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