Finger Lickers at the Buffet Line


Newport Izzy's, August 12, 2009
A burly, overall clad man, long gray ponytail is observed adding a layer of pork n beans on top of his mexican goulash at the enchilada station. The plate overflows onto his fingers. The man switches hands and daintily lick washes his fingers and then uses those fingers to grab the cheese scooper which is then used by a young kid (no relation) behind him in line.
The man is then obsrved to repeat the process again with the barbecue sauce and pizza ladles.
The man the returned to his seat before Izzy's authorities can be notified.
This psychopath is still out there, somewhere...
Oh maaan, that is f*cking disgusting!

The fact that you ate at Izzy's.
Finger Lickers and nose blowers. Will take heed and stay away from this place. Thanks for the tip.
You're NOT gonna convince me to skip my country club brunch you pathetic pinko.
If you like buffets, check out Sesso. All you can eat in the nude (or leather bondage onesie or whatever). ...and it won't be weird if you offer to lick off everyone elses fingers so the only germs on the buffet utensils are your own. You can call if fingerlickin' Fridays. You're welcome.
I patiently await KPTV's "Dirty Dining" segment on Club Sesso

...with a special undercover investigative report by Sophie Soong
If there were any chance the author of this letter meant it at all, can you imagine how fucking terrifying their world is? To be so damn sure that any contact with strangers is inevitably going to end in disease? Like it's the fucking 1300's?
And still faithfully attending buffets despite all that?
Wow, serious first world problems here. I really feel for you.
Still waiting for that cholera outbreak that kills hundreds to be traced back to shitty buffet line in shitty restaurant. Hasn't happened yet. Weird.