It’s no wonder that all you Seattle folks are jerks with attitude erections, Seattle you’re fucking weird.

Who exits the freeway on the left hand side? Seattle. Who can’t gamble at a video poker machine, but can win a $250.00 jackpot from a pull tab ticket? Seattle. Who’s pool tables are Ron Jeremy’s abnormal penis in size? Unnatural! Seattle.
Who fucking hosts a home game for the Seahawks, gets everyone drunk, allows them to LEGALLY smoke weed to oppose and mitigate the effects of their drunkenness giving them the drunken munchies, but doesn’t serve food in ANY restaurant location in a 3 mile radius to redeem their drunken apocalypse past 10pm? SEATTLE!

So fucking weird!
Sincerely, Portland