The City's Tired of Running Last Thursday. It's Got a Willing Taker.
You bought the very last 15 or so tonight. I watched as you cleaned out the whole set while I waited for my turn. You didn't leave one. I looked you up and down and thought that you probably got them all for yourself as you didn't seem to be anyone who had anyone to give them too or would have anyone to love.
That's cool. As I was behind you later when you were looking to buy up the rest of the Epsom salts, I reached into your cart and grabbed as many candy canes as I could. I left you with 4 i think. I only wanted two for my nephews, the others got deposited behind some potato chips. You old grabby fucking grabbers. Have some fucking manners. You are lucky i didn't follow your fat ass out to your towncar and punch you in your puss.
Merry Xmas asswipe
Get the best of the Mercury each week in your inbox!