2014 Resolutions

Comments

1
Fuck you, cager! This post is just another bullet point on Jonathan Maus' 1,197-item list of reasons why Barbur Blvd needs to be returned to its original state: a cyclocross skills park for disadvantaged youth. Just imagine pedaling your handcrafted rigid 29er recumbent bakfiets over the rolling berms of the world's first crowdfunded cargo bike pump track!

Halfway through writing that last sentence I paused, sold both my cars and took an oath from none other than Banksy, my palm placed firmly on a copy of Adbusters Magazine, that I am committed, for life, to lead a car-free existence, through thick and thin, even if it means I can sometimes only carry a $15 six-pack of local artisanal microbrew back to my award-winning $497,000 tiny house in the heart of the Alberta Arts Patron District.

So there! I've thrown down the gauntlet of self sacrifice and will stop at nothing until the entire world agrees with every last detail of my idyllic, totally unique and self-curated existence in-- where else? Of course I moved to Portland last month from Davis or Arcata or Aspen or whatever.
2
Yeah because watching Gianna michaels for forty seconds a day makes you somewhat lousier than you already are.....
3
I agree on both fronts. I gave up riding a couple years ago.. just got sick of being associated with that whole crowd. I can watch from my windows and see 9 out of 10 riders blow the stop signs (here in NW). Sometimes I won't see a single cyclist stop for days. The growing arrogance of "cyclists" as a whole is too much for me to associate myself with, and I attribute a lot of this smugness and hypocrisy to bikeportland. I know that sounds petty on my part but I can't help it. Plus I recently bought a Mercedes and love it too much to go back to riding and showing up everywhere sweaty and gross.

As for porn, you've got to see Don Jon, I think it's still in theaters, joseph gordon levitt's directorial debut as a guy addicted to porn - really good stuff.
4
Look up Idaho bicycle stop law. Since the eighties Idaho has allowed bikes to use stop signs as yellow warning lights and red lights like stop signs. It has shown no increase in accidents. Sorry people look like idiots waiting for lights when nothing is coming or making full stops when they could just use judgement. Bikes get hit because cars turn right. I have been hit twice by cars on my bike. Once going through a green light and once at a full stop a a sign. I now motor through before the light and am out of the way when cars start turning right.
All those cyclist making you mad are just better riders with more common sense than you. Deep down you know it and that's why your a little whiny shit on I'A.
5
Idaho stops don't work in busy 4 way stop intersections in NW where there's almost always traffic during the day. The number of close calls I've seen due to cyclists who follow a car through a stop sign is impossible for me to count. If you want to be treated like a car you have to act like it. You have to stop with the excuses. Any time a driver has an accident the rage is off the charts, but when it's a cyclist at fault the bikeportland community talks about how bad the intersection/city planning is and why the cyclist really isn't at fault because of a host of bullshit excuses. Just stop being a douchy hypocrite.

"All those cyclist making you mad are just better riders with more common sense than you."

Yes, running a stop sign is common sense. Great logic, cyclist.
6
The actors availing themselves to me are immune to porn, Candy Crush has 'em by the balls though.
7
I get it, there is no 4 way stops in Idaho. 30+ years of statistics have nothing on your observations. Been blowing through stop signs for twenty years it's called eyes and ears.
8
^ I hope the irony of your attitude in a thread about cyclist smugness is not lost on you, but I feel it is.
9
No.

You do not get to start a thread saying "If you ride through a stop sign and get hit by a car" and end it with don't say 'but cars kill people'"

The fact of the matter is that very few cycling fatalities (very few fatalities period) are caused by cyclists running stop signs, though plenty are caused by cars running stop signs.