When I moved here five years ago from NYC, I thought I had left the Brooklyn Doorbell behind. That's when a visitor, instead of calling, ringing a doorbell, or knocking like a civilized human being, either yells from the street or honks a car horn until their friend meets them on the street or lets the visitor inside.

This is done without concern for other building residents, who get to hear a procession of idiots yelling and honking at all hours.

After years of city living, I don't expect my apartment to be a Fortress of Solitude. There's always going to be noise—trucks, trains, sirens, etc. And I long ago learned to wear earplugs while sleeping. But it's the discretionary noise that's really obnoxious: people who choose to be noise polluters, just because they can.

Brooklyn Doorbell users, and those who permit its use, are self-absorbed assholes who don't stop if asked (I have—I'm good at direct communication). So instead, I'll just say to those people: fuck you. You're terrible, and the world would be better without you.