At first I wasn’t gonna do it. I was repelled by your lack of manscaping and the way you yelled on the phone. But then that dry spell hit. I sat contemplating switching teams, buying new toys, etc. Then we ended up having a couple neighborly shots and one thing, well you know.. Now its six months later and while you may have eeked it out by getting a little neighbor nookie for these last six months I need to raise the bar and get rid of you. Sadly, though I still have eight months left on this lease so at least I’ll be reminded of my absolute bottom when it comes to dating. Thanks
Knocking the Neighbors Boots
The views expressed in these submissions are from anonymous, unverified sources and do not necessarily represent those of the Portland Mercury.