What the shit? Why the fuck are we not friends on facebook anymore? I'm the father of your daughter! Are you mad at me? I just tried to tag you in a picture and I looked and looked and looked even more, cause I'm shocked at wtf... Where's my, my baby mama? Whatever I did I am SO SORRY! I've learned recently how to lick women on their face (instead of finger hump their boobs) I will do it to you. I'll be chewing gum, but if your mad mad at me, I will lick your face, as a self defense mechanism. Don't be mad at me.
Get the best of the Mercury each week in your inbox!