To Whomever Lost a Ripe Honeydew Melon on MacAdam Ave Across from Zupans-

I was riding my bike to work Tuesday morning, thinking about how I'd forgotten to bring my lunch, when out of the corner of my eye I glimpsed a pale orb laying in the street.

I had a hunch it was something special- and what a special thing it was. A melon! A whole ripe, honeydew melon, virtually unscathed by being dropped out of someone's shopping bag.

I just want whoever lost their melon to know that it found a good home- in my stomach. Finding that gutter melon delighted me far more than anything else in recent memory, so thank you, melon-loser. You made my week.