I first started noticing my wife acting oddly about a year and a half ago. She'd go on these weird bike rides for no reason after I put the kids to bed. "Watch your shows, I'm going on a bike ride," is what she says. It took me some time to finally register her behavior, but once I did, it hit like a ton of bricks. She'd come home from said bike ride and hang out in the garage for a good 20 minutes, then immediately come in and head to the bathtub. Once the bath was over, she come into the living room and always lay on the floor, hidden from my line of sight by the coffee table. Weird, I thought. Then, I found a crack pipe hidden in the rafters of the garage. I didn't want to believe it, and convinced myself it was a pot pipe, but this lie didn't last long. Now I see the torn up cooper scouring pads, the pieces of glass in the trash, used lighters and your odd behavior. I can also feel your heart beating rapidly in bed as my back is turned away from you, too afraid of a confrontation. You'll get out of bed because "you can't sleep," but I know the real reason: you're too high to sleep. I find myself choosing to look the other way because I'm afraid to accept this problem. There's a wall between myself and this reality and I can't seem to traverse it. I'm too much of a coward to acknowledge the fact that I am losing my wife.
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