Dear Irish Setter In Grant Park,
I find it incredibly disconcerting that you thought my head was a good place to mark your territory. When my person let me off leash, I was under the impression that I would get to roll in the dirt and chew on sticks undisturbed. But then you roll up with your deceptively glossy coat, and I couldn't help but want to sniff your junk. THEN YOU PEED ON MY HEAD. And my people had to give me a bath. I hate baths.