I’m sorry that everything in your life is so damaged causing you to throw yourself sexually into the arms of a married man, which left you feeling this way. My Husband does not think about you. My husband only accepted you throwing yourself into his life because of the thrill. There is no history between you two. You don’t give him emotionally what I give him. You don’t continuously do things to make him happy, or laugh, or want to be around you. You were just there, like a random rock on the ground in front of him. He didn’t mean anything he said to you. All of the words he gave you, were short lived. He says them to me now. He said them before but now I really believe him. You don’t have a song, a special holiday that you look forward to, a favorite outfit that he wears, or a favorite fragrance on his body. Those are all mine.
I make him wake up happy, it is me that he thinks of when the sun comes up. I am the person he considers when he does things. I push him to achieve things, and he achieves those things for my attention only. He’s never been jealous over you. You do not put lumps in his throat when he thinks time is running out, and he doesn’t get anxious when you are not there.
He married me for love, not you.