To the unfortunate gentlemen with your über-jacked up brand new trucks: i'm very sorry about the staggeringly miniscule sizes of your penises. I'm very sorry that this cruel hand that fate has dealt you has caused your insecurity riddled brains to overcompensate by spending thousands of dollars to show off your off-road rigs that obviously never leave the road. I'm sorry this has forced you to open a body shop next to my house. I'm sorry it makes you use the words "kustom" and "kolors" in your windows. I'm sorry that it makes you drive up and down my peaceful neighborhood revving your pipes. Fuck you. I left Alaska because of this shit and now its movin in next to me? You better hope you don't leave one of your stupid Tonka trucks on the street overnight, because all of the shithead highschoolers from Franklin will fuck said truck up.
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